Women are amazing creatures. We are fantastic mediators and nurturers. We are capable of anything we set our minds to. For the most part, we are loving and sensitive. We have the distinct honor of the miracle that is childbirth. We love deeply, are intelligent, and are the backbone of the family. What I've described is just the tip of the iceberg. It will never cease to amaze me how some men can see a woman, and rather than seeing even one of the multitude of wonderful things she is, they see a burden, and someone they can control.
I have a very dear friend who is going through an extremely rough time right now. She not only has ailing health, which is causing her great amounts of physical pain and fatigue, but she also has a husband who, for lack of a better word, is despicable. The things that he says to her...no one should have to be told those things by anyone, let alone his or her spouse.
The verbal and emotional abuse has been going on as long as I've known her, and probably longer. She knows my opinion on that subject : Stand up for yourself and leave. Now, it's turned to physical abuse.
The last time I saw her, her wrist was bandaged, so I asked her what happened. She was extremely evasive about answering me. When I asked her flat out if he had done it, she gave me a speaking glance and told me to "shush." The emotions that went through me in that split second were staggering. I went from concern, to murderous rage, and back again. Since she told me, I've been thinking of all of the marks that I've seen on her in the last few months, and the flimsy excuses she gave me for them. It's so obvious looking back, I don't know how I didn't see it earlier.
Why do we do this to ourselves? This lovely, caring woman is going through hell, and she won't even fight for herself. She has a child, which is why she says she stays. In my opinion staying is doing more damage, but she is so afraid of losing her little boy that she refuses to do anything that might make him turn against her.
She's so smart, and funny, and caring. She's always treated me as one of her family, and would do anything she could to help anyone. She's worth so much more than this, and it pains me to know that there is nothing I can do to help her or protect her because she doesn't want help or protection. I'm half tempted to talk to him myself, just so he knows his secret is out, and that this is a secret I would be more than willing to tell. I'm afraid of what would happen, however. I'm not afraid that she'll be mad at me, or even hate me. I can deal with that. Her not being in danger is worth losing her friendship if need be. I'm afraid that if he thinks she told me, he will then take it out on her, and then she may never have the opportunity to get mad at me.
I need guidance. This is not a situation I've dealt with in the past, and I have no idea what to do. This feeling of helpless is so desperate, when I think of her I just curl up in a ball. I'm praying that the Lord and Lady will help me to see the right path.
Blessed Be and stay safe.
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